It’s a common assumption that, when considering pornography consumption in general, this is a subject for men. This is generally the sense when discussing a teenager who is navigating puberty or an adult who is struggling with an addiction to porn.
Interestingly, women are rarely part of the addiction picture. Yet, the American Psychological Association reports that between 30-86 of women of the women surveyed actively consume porn regularly.
Obviously, this opens the door for female porn addiction too. Still, it's important to note that the reasons why women face this issue often differ greatly from men. Here’s how female porn addiction can be a problem and what women can do about it.
Using Porn to Fulfill a Need
One area of difference between men and women when it comes to porn use is how it meets a need. For men, that may simply be the desire for physical arousal. After all, arousal releases endorphins and similar brain chemicals. But for women, consuming porn is also an outlet for getting certain emotional needs met. For example:
Acting out on desires that they feel their partner would disapprove of
Sidestepping intimacy with another person
Using porn as an escape from their emotions, feelings, and reality
For many women, it’s emotionally safer to view porn rather than have a relationship with another person.
Porn as a Tool for Intimacy
In female porn addiction, a woman might view porn with their partner as an avenue for intimacy too. For instance, a woman asks their partner to watch a segment of porn with them not just to brainstorm a new technique. Rather, the intent is to connect with their partner through porn use. However, even sexual intimacy with their partner isn’t always enough to satisfy their needs. Women who are addicted to porn may watch it even after having sex with their partner.
The Escalation of Female Porn Addiction
Just like with many addictions, both in men and women, female porn addiction can escalate. Erica Garza, who has written about her addiction to porn, saying that as she started watching pornography when she was twelve years old. In an article for Good Housekeeping, she described her early use as “soft stuff” that was “hardly pornographic.” However, as her addiction increased, so did the graphic content. She noted that once she started viewing porn online that:
“I soon found myself in an endless pursuit of hotter, harder, faster, dirtier.”
When you think about it, this is how many addictions begin. For instance, with drug use, some people can get away with casual drug use or drinking and not have any problems. But for those who struggle with addiction, there is no such thing as casual use. Over time, things escalate in order to experience the same release one felt when first using, whether that be drugs or porn.
Rooted in Shame and Self-Consciousness
Garza noted that early in life she had to wear a back brace to treat scoliosis. It made her stand out in the crowd and other children made fun of her for it. This made her feel particularly self-conscious and she struggled to open up to others. This can be true of others who find more comfort in pornography than connecting with others. They feel that there is something wrong with them that, if discovered by their partner, would end the relationship. Thus, it’s easier emotionally to engage in pornography.
Getting Help for Female Porn Addiction
Watching porn doesn’t mean that you are broken or that something is inherently wrong with you. But if this habit is interfering with your life, something needs to shift. If the practice has become such an issue that you are prioritizing porn over other things, then it’s time to get help. Sex addiction therapy can help. For one, you will be working with someone who won’t judge you for porn addiction. Rather, they will want to help you understand the deep-rooted issues as to why this is a problem, and how to live a healthier life.
With female porn addiction, the reasons for the addiction can be complex. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to overcome the addiction. A therapist who specializes in sex addiction therapy can help greatly. Find out how sexual addiction counseling and treatment can help you resolve your porn compulsion.
