Someone who struggles with sex addiction may have a long history of broken relationships and painful experiences. However, what many don’t realize is that there is one key attribute that is a barrier to treatment.
Entitlement.
What does entitlement have to do with sex addiction? Basically, entitlement comes in many different forms. Denial, pride, and blaming others are all part of the equation. The primary issue is that when someone with a sex addiction also feels entitled, they tend to push back or deflect during treatment. They rarely take responsibility for the state of their lives or relationships. Without accountability for their own actions, it is much more difficult for treatment to be successful.
Consider the following ways entitlement and sexual addiction often are linked together.
Sex Addiction and Denial
It’s not uncommon for a sex addict to deny that they have a problem at all.
Granted, denial is not unheard of when it comes to addiction treatment in general. However, with sex addiction, the addict might say that they didn’t believe their actions were harmful to anybody. Or, that what they did wasn’t a big deal. They insist that the situation has been blown way out of proportion.
This strategy works with people who may be unsure of the circumstances or who don’t want to accuse the addict of something they are not sure is true. Addicts take advantage of their self-doubt. Then, they turn it back on those who question their inappropriate behavior. All to avoid having to acknowledge their actions.
Bravado, Entitlement and Sexual Addiction
Another way that entitlement and sexual addiction manifests themselves is in the form of bravado. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, bravado is defined as “blustering swaggering conduct.”
For sex addicts, this behavior arises when they are proud of their sexual exploits, viewing them as accomplishments. For instance, a sex addict who brags about how many women they have seduced and slept with is displaying a sort of public bravado. They don’t recognize the emotional damage that they are likely causing to the people who care about them.
When in Doubt, Blame Others
When sex addicts are called out on their behavior, they may try to blame the other person(s) to deflect away from their actions. For instance, “But she was flirting with me!” might be a response a sex addict uses to justify acting out sexually. This is an attempt to manipulate the person who is shedding light on the addicts’ behavior.
Rather than step into the light and take ownership of that behavior, the addict blames and protests. Lobbying for their own innocence, they feel entitled to absolution. Even if they were the instigator or driving force behind the sexual behavior, they don’t believe the fault lies with them.
Creating a False Reality-Taking the Victim Stance
Addicts will sometimes flip the narrative. They will often cast themselves as a victim. For instance, they will blame their behavior on the addiction (“It wasn’t my fault!” or “I can’t help it”). Many sex addicts will try to create a false narrative when it’s clear that their actions have clearly hurt others.
How to Move Forward with Recovery
Entitlement and sexual addiction can be major obstacles to healing. To move forward with recovery sex addicts must set aside the entailment mindset. This can be tough to do. Oftentimes, sexual addicts enjoy positions of power and authority. They must now humble themselves and recognize that they have much work to do in order to get better.
To mend, heal, and move forward, sex addicts must take accountability for what they have done. This includes how their actions have affected others. A therapist who understands sex addiction can help. With compassion and fostering a supportive, judgment-free, environment, a therapist can help with entitlement and sexual addiction.
If you are struggling with this problem, know that help is available. Find out today how sex addiction treatment can help you.
