Are you and your partner struggling to stay connected in your relationship? Does it seem as if you are growing apart and more distant? Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can help. Read on to learn how using this technique in therapy can you help maintain a strong relationship.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
EFT is used for couples who are experiencing problems in their relationship to the point that the issues are severely affecting each person. This is particularly true when a couple experiences a disconnect with one another during an event that causes an emotional response, such as anger. These moments become cyclical, driving the couple deeper and deeper into a negative relationship.
What is the Objective of Emotionally Focused Therapy?
The objective of this kind of therapy is to help couples create more positive connections with each other. for example:
• Address how couples emotionally respond to each other.
• Facilitate new perspectives for couples as to how they interact with one another.
• Solidify the connection between couples.
• Empower couples to feel more emotionally safe with each other which in turn promotes trust.
The idea is for couples to work together to be able to change how they respond to one another when stressed so that instead of continuing the negative cycle a new paradigm is created that reinforces trust.
How Can Couples Use Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Let us say that one partner has a disagreement with the other. Now, in the past, the situation would quickly escalate into an argument with lots of shouting and the result is hurt feelings. Instead, with the couple having participated in EFT, each person can better identify what they are feeling and accept those emotions. In turn, they can then communicate with each other what they are experiencing and then move forward towards a solution. Instead of the argument lingering and adding to the pile of negativity, the situation is resolved.
Who Benefits from Emotionally Focused Therapy?
There are several kinds of people who would benefit from this kind of therapy. For example:
• Couples who have had longstanding resentments towards each other.
• Individuals who struggle to express their emotions to their partners in a healthy way.
• Children and other family members who witness the arguing and fighting between their loved ones.
When you think about it, EFT is not just beneficial for the couple. When they are able to work together to solve a conflict versus being opponents, it creates a more stable and trusting relationship for them and their children too.
How Can Couples Start this Therapy?
Couples can begin EFT by working with a therapist who is trained in the technique. Together a therapist and the couple can:
• Identify the key sources of conflict in the relationship.
• Create a safe place for each person to express themselves and feel heard.
• Learn skills for identifying emotions and communicating appropriately to one another.
• Practice those skills together with support so as to be able to implement them outside of the session.
By working with one another in session with the therapist, couples have the chance to begin the healing process and foster trust between each other. As they have more experiences that have a positive resolution the more trusting and supported they will feel.
Learning how to communicate more effectively takes time as old habits need to be unlearned and new habits encouraged. Yet it is possible, through EFT and with the support of a knowledgeable counselor, for couples to improve the quality of their relationship. Therapy does not happen overnight, but with hard work it is possible.
Click to learn more about Marriage Counseling and Treatment with Naomi Casement, LMSW.
