Your everyday life is jam-packed with expectations and obligations, as well as distractions. These add up over time and can have a negative impact on your marriage. However, there are ways that you can put your marriage first. These include things that you can do every day.
7 Ways to Put Your Marriage First
Marriage First Tip #1: Spend Time Together
There is no better way to strengthen your marriage than spending quality time with your partner. Why? Because these moments provide a connection, a link in the chain of your relationship. Over time, this chain becomes longer and stronger as you add more and more links.
Here are some ideas to spend more time together:
• Share at least one meal a day together.
• Spend 30 minutes in the evening with just the two of you.
• Carpool together to work.
• Attend a seminar or class.
• Cook together.
• Watch a movie together at home.
Whatever you do, whether it’s in short bursts or a longer activity, make the commitment to spend time together.
Marriage First Tip #2: Take Back the Weekend
In the spirit of tip #1, the weekend is an opportunity to spend time with your partner. No, this doesn’t mean you have to have a romantic getaway every weekend. However, you can be creative and inclusive. Why not work on the garden, rake the leaves, or do that home improvement project together? Being productive and accomplishing tasks together helps with putting your marriage first and adding links to that chain.
Marriage First Tip #3: Take Your Partner Seriously
When your partner is experiencing difficult emotions, such as sadness or anger, do you stop to pay attention and take them seriously? Discounting your partner and brushing off their emotions is a great way to damage your relationship. We all want to be understood and supported. If you don’t take your partner seriously how can they know that you will support them when they need you?
Marriage First Tip #4: Distractions
Sometimes we choose to put other things first besides our marriage. Ask yourself, does watching this TV show or spending time on social media help to strengthen my relationship? Or, does it just cause more damage? Know when it is time to put away the phone or turn off the television. It will demonstrate to your partner that they are the most important thing in your life.
Marriage First Tip #5: Me vs. We
Which is more important to you “me” or “we?” If you prioritize your wants over your relationship, it sows the seeds for an unhappy and unsuccessful relationship. For example, you focus on “me” when you spend money on something expensive without considering how your partner will feel about it or the impact that it will have on the household finances.
Marriage First Tip #6: Remember Those Important Dates!
Thoughtlessness is a sure-fire way to drive a wedge between you and your partner. When you remember important dates, whether they are appointments or your anniversary, it sends a message to your partner. If you have trouble remembering, use a planner that lets you break the calendar down by weeks but also allows you to see the whole month and year. You can use the old-fashioned paper option or online tools.
Marriage First Tip #7: Attend Couples Counseling
If you are struggling, make the effort to go to couples counseling. For some, this is hard, as it means talking about things or being emotionally uncomfortable. Yet your actions demonstrate your commitment to the relationship. Even better, go to counseling before there is a crisis to keep your relationship healthy.
Putting your marriage first may take work, but the rewards certainly make it worth the effort. If you still find yourselves struggling, consider couples counseling to help you get back on track.
Click to learn more about Marriage Counseling and Treatment with Naomi Casement, LMSW.
