Sexual urges are a perfectly normal part of the human psyche. However, you may not recognize the signs that your sexual urges are out of control until it’s too late. Here's how to know it’s time for help.
Your Sexual Appetite Has Increased
One factor that your sexual urges are out of control? Your sexual appetite has increased significantly. For example, you spend a lot of your free time viewing pornography online. However, unless you sit back and take a hard look at yourself, you might not notice the increase. Instead, it has become “normal” for you in order to satisfy your urges. This is true not just for sex addiction but for other kinds of substance abuse as well.
Covering Up Your Sexual Urges
Another warning sign is that you must lie and cover up your sexual urges with others. For example, you make an excuse to your partner for staying up late viewing pornography. This is because you fear their reaction to learning the truth. If you feel you must lie to your partner than things are definitely getting out of control.
Pursuing Dangerous Activities
You're out of control sexual urges can lead you to pursue dangerous activities with drastic consequences. For example:
Soliciting for sex, either in person or online
Contracting a sexually transmitted infection, or STI
Incurring debt to pay for pornography or sex
As with the above categories, you may not realize what is happening until it seems it is too late. However, there is still hope for change.
Acknowledging You Have a Problem
The first step for when your sexual urges are out of control is acknowledging there is a problem. You don’t have to commit to change or make any grand pronouncements. Nor will shaming yourself or thinking you are a terrible person help either. Instead, take a hard look at yourself. Be honest about your intentions and actions.
Get Help for Your Sexual Urges
Next, be willing to get professional help for your out of control sexual desires. A therapist who specializes in sexual addiction will be helpful. You need to understand why it is you are acting this way. It may be that there is something from the past that is the cause of all this. Or, it may be from other aspects of your life. Either way, this is not a problem that you can tackle alone. Instead, you need professional help from someone trained to address these issues.
Find Support from Others
While working with a therapist it is also helpful to reach out for peer support as well. Just as there are support groups for other kinds of addiction, there are also groups for sexual issues too. These groups offer the opportunity to find support from others who are struggling with the same problems. It is also helpful to see others who are in different stages of recovery. They can be a source of inspiration for you on this journey.
Be Honest with Those You Care About
Eventually, you will have to be honest with those who are impacted by your struggle regarding your sexual urges. This will not be easy. Undoubtedly, these are uncomfortable conversations to have. However, they are absolutely necessary. Your loved ones need to know how your actions have affected them. Also, this signals that you are willing to take accountability for your thoughts and what you may have done as a result.
When your sexual urges are out of control, you are wise to take measures to address them. They needn't be a source of shame but a call to healthy action before they do lasting damage. These thoughts and reactions can affect your life and relationships adversely. Yet, by being honest with yourself you can take the first step towards recovery. With help from a therapist and peer support, you can regain control of your sexual urges and find balance again.
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