Losing a loved one is a painful experience. Especially if you were close, and especially if it was your partner.
You don’t know where to turn, or what to do. In essence, you feel lost.
But the process of grief is a well-traveled path.
Everyone will lose someone close to them in their lifetimes. Thus, even though it’s very difficult, grief is also very familiar too.
That’s why we know what does, and what doesn’t work for coping after you’ve lost someone you loved. Here are some ways that you can cope.
Own Your Grief, Don’t Run from It
First and foremost, it’s important to own your grief and loss. Allow yourself to feel those feelings. If you need to cry, cry. If you’re angry and frustrated, feel free to scream and yell. Doing these things gets your emotions out and will help you to heal from this loss. Keeping feelings in and bottling those emotions up doesn’t help. In fact, it has the opposite effect. Holding onto your grief keeps you from fully processing what happened and moving forward. You become stuck as you dwell on your grief, long after your loved one has passed. This stuck place is often referred to as complicated grief. The best way to avoid this situation is to own your grief. For example:
Give yourself space to reflect on what has just happened.
Write your thoughts down in a journal.
Practice meditation where you allow a thought to come to the surface, but then let it drift away.
Incorporate breathing techniques to help you stay focused and in control.
Honor Your Loved One
Another way to cope with the loss of a loved one is by honoring them. They may have had specific wishes for how they wanted to be remembered. This gives you something to work with. If they didn’t, or you just want to do something yourself, have a small ceremony to honor your loved one. You can do this by yourself. Perhaps it’s going to a nearby stream. You reflect on your loved ones and how much they meant to you. The water can be symbolic as the current carries the water away from you. A simple, meaningful way to say goodbye will help you when coping with this loss.
Make Healthy Choices
During this difficult time, it’s important to make healthy choices. They will help you stay in the right frame of mind, and provide the support you need to get through your grief. These include:
Getting enough sleep every night.
Exercising on a regular basis.
Eating healthy.
Avoiding drinking too much or indulging in substance use.
Surround Yourself with People Who Care
It’s very important that you have people in your life who support you and care about your well-being. Although, it can be stressful or even annoying when everyone asks, “How are you doing?” or, “Are you O.K.?” But having a friend or family member can mean a lot. They will help you get through this.
Counseling for Grief and Loss
Finally, if you’re struggling with the loss of a loved one, counseling will help. It can be a place where you unpack all the thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing in an emotionally safe environment. Also, it’s a place where you can gain some clarity over the situation. Your therapist will listen and can help you understand all of this.
It’s never easy losing someone you love. But it happens to us all. Give yourself permission to grieve and feel the loss, honor your loved one, and take care of yourself. However, don’t hesitate to include therapy as well. Find out today how trauma therapy for your grief will help.
