Sex addiction has been more than just a problem for you. It’s been a compulsive behavior for a while now.
You want to stop, but you don’t want to go celibate either. After all, isn’t that the only way you can be “cured” from sex addiction?
Sex is still an important, healthy part of what it means to be human and allows you to be both physically and emotionally closer to your partner. Do you really have to give it up because of your problem?
The truth is it's difficult and complicated. However, you can stop being obsessed with sex without needing to become celibate if you commit to the necessary process.
Sex Addiction and Human Needs
To free yourself from sex addiction, the common belief is that you must abstain from the compulsive behavior. However, the problems with this addiction are similar to those associated with an addiction to food (overeating). You need food to survive, there’s just no way around it. The human body requires calories in order for you to maintain even the basic of bodily functions. These include brain activity, heartbeat, and breathing. Sex is another necessary part of what it means to be human.
Sex is a vital means of procreation and an important avenue for creating a more solid connection or bond with another. The problem is when you develop a sex addiction that connection is lost. The act becomes wholly self-oriented and destructive when you are absorbed in the physical pleasure of sex, regardless of the means or partner.
So, what can you do?
How to Stop Being Obsessed With Sex: Redirect Compulsive Behavior
First, consider ways to redirect the compulsive behavior that drives our sex addiction. One idea: find things that provide the same kind of endorphin release associated with sex that comes with any kind of pleasurable activity. Physical activity is an answer to this problem, as you also experience a rush of endorphins and other pleasurable chemicals when being physically active. Consider intense activities that require boosting your breathing and heart rate. For example, these activities include:
Running
HIIT (high-intensity interval training)
Cycling
Rowing
Sports such as basketball or soccer that require short bursts of sprinting.
Remember, it’s important to check with your medical provider to ensure that you are capable of such intense physical activity.
How to Stop Being Obsessed With Sex: Therapy
The next key idea? Learn how to stop being obsessed with sex through therapy.
Why is therapy so important? Keep in mind what we discussed above. Sex addiction, just like any compulsive behavior, is driven by a kind of inner motivation that even you may not completely understand. Even when you use logic to make a different choice, the compulsion still drives you. The key to solving sex addiction is to understand the compulsion. Some questions to consider include:
What is the compulsion(s)?
How did it develop?
What effect has the compulsion had on your life?
What can you do differently?
These are serious questions that require taking a difficult look at who you are and why you do what you do. To do that, you need a therapist with training, objectivity, and expertise in sex addiction who can help guide you through this. He or she will help you take actionable steps toward lasting change.
How to Stop Being Obsessed With Sex: Use Medication
Another tool available to you for sex addiction treatment is prescription medication. Just like other conditions such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, medication may help alleviate some of the compulsive urges associated with sex addiction. While medication won’t necessarily eliminate the compulsions, but it can reduce their severity. That way, you may be more open to therapy and important lifestyle changes as well.
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Again, sex is an important part of the human experience, and it’s something you don’t want to eliminate from your life. However, you also know that sex addiction can be very damaging at the same time. It's dominated too much of your world for too long.
Fortunately, you can develop a strategy for dealing with compulsive behavior. With lifestyle changes, therapy, and medication you can learn how to stop being obsessed with sex without having to stop being intimate with the partner that matters.
Click to learn more about marriage counseling and treatment with Naomi Casement - LMSW.
