When someone is facing an addiction the impact is often felt by more than just the addict. Is your relationship facing challenges from your spouse’s sexual addiction? If so, there are ways that both of you can face this problem to find addiction recovery together as a couple.
Signs of Sex Addiction
One of the ways that you can help your partner with sex addiction recovery is by recognizing the indicators of a possible sex addiction in the first place. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, about 12 million Americans struggle with sex addiction. Some of the signs of an addiction can include:
Sex with several anonymous partners.
Phone sex or sex online.
Frequenting adult bookstores.
Visiting strip clubs.
Compulsive masturbation.
An unusual need for sexual stimulation.
Going to a massage parlor.
Using escorts or prostitutes.
These compulsive behaviors may be rooted in anger, a fear of intimacy, shame, sexual trauma, or other serious issues from one’s life.
Seeking Treatment for Sex Addiction
Another way that you can support your partner is making sure that they are seeking treatment for their sex addiction. Counseling can help by:
Identifying thought patterns and understanding why they occur.
Developing appropriate communication skills.
Encouraging the use of different coping strategies when the desire to fulfill the addiction occurs.
It is important that your partner get help to begin and maintain addiction recovery. In addition, your partner should know that seeking treatment is necessary for your relationship as a couple.
Spousal Support for Sex Addiction
Not only is it important for your partner to participate in treatment, it is also critical that you get support too. Knowing that your partner or spouse has a sex addiction can bring up a lot of emotions for you too. These might include:
Feeling betrayed.
Loss of trust.
Not understanding why it’s happening.
Feeling like you are somehow to blame.
Realize that your partner has a disease that requires help. This doesn’t excuse their actions, but it can help put those actions into context for a wider picture. A therapist can work with you to navigate those feelings of betrayal and loss, as well as provide a safe place for you to express your emotions.
Couples Counseling for Sex Addiction
Couples counseling is important for you and your partner to be able to understand and communicate how the addiction has impacted you both. One of the benefits of seeing a therapist who specializes in couples counseling is that the therapist can help facilitate the discussion and act as a moderator. This can refrain from letting raw nerves on both sides lash out at each other, making things worse.
Knowing That You Are Not Alone
It may seem like you are all alone being the partner of someone with sex addiction. Maybe you feel like no one else really understands what you are going through as a couple. There are groups out there that are meant to provide support for those who are close to a sex addict. S-Anon is a support group that is intended to meet the needs of people who are the friends or family members of someone with sex addiction. Based on similar groups originally intended for alcoholics, S-Anon provides a 12-step framework, group meetings, and resources. The organization even has a sub-group for teenagers.
Sex addiction recovery is not an easy road, and it can take a lifetime for a couple to heal. It is possible though, to overcome sex addiction and move forward together through a combination of therapeutic treatment and support. Together, hope is possible.
Click to learn more about Sex Addiction Therapy and Treatment with Naomi Casement, LMSW.
