Have you or a loved one recently been diagnosed with having a sex addiction? Although it may be hard to grapple with, understanding sex addiction can help you or your loved one get through this difficult time and help both of you to move forward in your lives.
What Causes Sex Addiction?
We are continuing to better understand how someone develops a sex addiction. We do know that the reward center in our brains plays a role. The act of sex is a pleasurable experience, and for the addict it becomes all-consuming. With addiction, if you are not engaging in the activity then it’s on your mind until you satisfy the reward center of your brain. This is how other addictions such as drug use or overeating develop as well. So a cause for sex addiction is based on the chemistry in your brain.
What are the Symptoms of Sex Addiction?
When understanding sex addiction it’s important to be able to identify the symptoms and whether you or a loved one fit the pattern. For example:
Do you have sex often?
Have you had a number of sexual partners?
Are you always preoccupied with thoughts of sex and wanting to have sex?
Have you tried to cut back on sexual behavior only to be unsuccessful?
Has your preoccupation with sex affected your ability to function, such as with going to work or attending school?
Do you spend a lot of time looking for new sexual partners?
Do you spend a lot of time looking at pornography online?
In order to experience the “high” from sex, have you felt obligated to increase your activity and in turn expose yourself to greater risk?
Granted, these are hard questions to consider, but it’s important to be honest with yourself in order to understand sex addiction.
What are the Effects of Sex Addiction?
We can break down the effects of sex addiction into two parts:
Yourself: You find it difficult or impossible to be a part of an equal, loving, and caring relationship. In fact, your sexual addiction has led you to feel more isolated and alone even with multiple partners. You have found it hard or have lost interest in holding down a job or going to school because of your addiction. You have also accumulated financial problems such as credit card debt. Because of the risks you take, you may have developed a sexually transmitted infection.
Others: The people with whom you engage in sex with aren’t individuals with whom you want to create a relationship. They are more like objects than actual people. You have lied to others about where you are, what you are doing, or who you are with. You have borrowed or stolen money from people you know to fuel your addiction.
Understanding sex addiction means making the connection that your actions not only negatively affect you, they damage the relationships you do have and make it very hard for you to function in life.
Can Sex Addiction be Treated?
Yes! Sex addiction can be treated using a variety of methods. For example:
Participating in individual therapy: Talking about sex addiction is hard, but a professional counselor can help you through this without judging you.
Practicing new skills: A therapist will teach you new coping mechanisms for when you do experience a “craving” for sex and to better navigate your feelings on this issue.
Attending a support group: In a group setting with your counselor, you will gain insights from others and realize you're not alone.
Medication: Antidepressants can be helpful with treatment.
Coming to terms with having a sex addiction isn’t easy. It requires you to face unpleasant memories and feelings. However, by understanding your sex addiction, you have the chance to get to the root cause of your addiction and get treatment. In turn, you open the door toward living a life that is addiction-free.
Click to learn more about Sex Addiction Treatment and Counseling with Naomi Casement, LMSW.
