The smartphone is an amazing piece of technology. It allows us to have instant access to information whenever we want. When it comes to couples communication this tool can actually be useful and even fun for couples if used appropriately. However, it is also a double-edged sword which can wind up damaging a relationship as well.
Five Ways Your Smart Phone Can Bring Fun to Your Relationship
Let’s look first at how a smartphone can bring fun to your relationship:
1. Text messaging
Sending a funny and playful text to your partner can help brighten their day and let them know you care. It really helps if they are struggling to get through the day. You don’t even need to type any text. It’s amazing what an emoji can do in couple’s communication.
2. Video chat
There are several apps such as Facetime, Snapchat, and Skype which allow you to call your partner and have a video conversation with them. The benefit of this is that you and your partner get to see each other rather than texting or talking on the phone. This means you get to see each other’s facial expressions and reactions during the conversation.
3. Taking pictures and videos
Let’s face it, most people today don’t carry a camera around anymore unless it’s their smartphone. So if you don’t have your smartphone with you on a date or trip you’ll miss out on the chance to take pictures or videos of the experience.
4. Social media
You and your partner may want to share with your friends an adventure you’re having, so having access to social media such as Facebook may be important.
5. Helpful apps
Did you get digital tickets for the concert? Have you ever used Google Maps for driving directions? Or, did you need the answer to a question and asked Siri? We use our phones to navigate through so many aspects of our daily lives that it’s hard to imagine what life was like without them.
Five Ways Smartphones Can Damage Your Relationship
Although a useful tool, the smartphone can also wreak havoc on couples communication. For example:
1. Distraction
Your attention is focused on whatever is on your phone, not on your partner.
2. Not being present
Because you are distracted by what's on your phone, you're not communicating or not communicating well with your partner.
3. Prioritizing
When you are on your phone and ignoring your partner, you are sending a message, whether you intend to or not, to your partner. You are saying that what’s on your phone is more important. Your partner will feel hurt that they are not more important than a text message.
4. The time-suck
You spend so much time on your phone (or other electronic media) that you wind up not having the time to get other things done. This includes work, house chores, other tasks, not to mention no time for your partner or your relationship.
5. Safety
Many states have laws prohibiting texting-while-driving or viewing a screen while driving. Is it really worth your life, or the life of your partner, to answer a text message or check email when driving?
Like so many things in life, a smartphone is a useful tool that makes many aspects of our lives easier. However, it can have a negative impact on our lives and our relationships if it’s used inappropriately. Part of couples communication is courtesy. Ask whether it’s ok to use a phone in your partner’s presence. Know when to just keep it on silent mode, or even turned off altogether, in your pocket. Your smartphone can enhance your relationship, just be sure it's not also damaging it.
Click to learn more about Marriage Counseling and Treatment with Naomi Casement, LMSW.
